Sunday, June 17, 2007

Ignorance, Greed, & Cruelty

While my Father kept the search up for proof that I could not be speaking Hawaiian, my Mother was thoroughly convinced and had moved on, and was fantasizing how to exploit it.

Mother's ignorance was conscious and deliberate. She rationalized that smart people didn't have to know, smart people controlled those who know. She knew me. I knew Hawaiian. She could use that.

Like my Father, one of the facts in life my Mother had never fully grasped was that language learning was something toddlers were universally geniuses at. She actually thought the fact that I was speaking Hawaiian meant that I was an idiot savant. She thought it was on a par with being able to recite thousands of digits of π, or multiplying six digit numbers in my head, when really the only remarkable thing about it was that I had found people willing to speak to me in Hawaiian.

She imagined that if she could find the right reporter to write it up and publicize it, my freakish idiot savant talent could bring in money somehow. There might be a book. She assumed I could learn other languages by means of my freak talent. Who knows, maybe I could learn dozens of them. They might be able to charge people admission to see me do a show, where I'd converse with experts in what my Mother imagined as especially hard languages, that only geniuses could learn, like well, you know, the African ones that sound like babble, or the ones the Arabs speak. Of course it's no feat for an African or an Arab to speak one of those if they were born to it. The feat was for a white person to learn those crazy languages.

It would take time, of course. I'd have to be trained. There'd need to be publicity. In the meantime she found a way to savor the cash cow.

She discovered that when she raped me long enough I would invariably spew forth a stream of Hawaiian. She said it was beautiful. She said, if only she could do it in front of my Father, he'd be convinced finally. She railed at me for not speaking so much except when I was being raped.

She never guessed that the beautiful Hawaiian coming out of me during rapes was all about what an evil bitch she was.

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