Thursday, June 7, 2007

Christ Bucket

Anitra is still on her gardening jag. Since I last whined about it we've had two worm & compost spills inside on her floors, involving two buckets of worms and buffalo shit. Then the worm bin finally arrived and I thought that the compost eating worms would go outside and stay outside and the compost would go with thm.

No. Have to make compost by letting parsley rot in the refrigerator. Would let it rot faster in the room but, you know, that would stink. So let it stink in the frig.

But Anitra is not totally unaware. She knows that Wes hateses stinky parsley. She orders a compost bucket with a lid from an online compost bucket seller. It arrived in a box by UPS this morning. It's a very nice compost bucket.

With a Jesus pamphlet inside.

Now, I've said it before, I've been proselytized to hell and back. I've had thousands of Christ pamphlets shoved an inch from my nose over the course of my 57 going on 58 years. But I never imagined anyone would stoop so low as send an unsolicited Jesus pamphlet with a compost bucket delivery.

The whole fucking argument for outdoor public displays used to be, well, the non-Christians can always go to their homes and lock their doors if they don't like it. Now it seems, you have to also not order in.

I went to the website that Anitra ordered from. No clue was given, no warning, that a Jesus pamphlet would come with the compost bucket.

Many of you are probably thinking, "shut up Wes, it's about the free speech". I'm not miffed that it was sent. I'm not bothered by the speech. The tract is one that has been put out since the Fifties, called Steps to Peace with God. I've read it before, it's no big deal.

I just think it's hilarious that they think they can catch me off-guard now and sneak a Jesus Saves in to my life for the thousand and 1st time with a compost bucket, & I'm going to go, "Gosh, you all never made it so clear before! Now I get it! Why didn't you send me the Gospel with a compost bucket before?!"

I also think it's stupid that they couldn't spend a minute of web-managing time and simply posted up on their website the address of one of the dozens of available online versions of the tract in question.

For the sake of those who really really love Jesus tracts, here are not one but five addresses to five different versions of the tract we got. A couple are animated. Enjoy!

Billy Graham Evangelistic Association online version

Fishthe Net version

A version in Farsi!

World Wide Christian Web version

Alternate animated Fishthe Net version

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