Friday, September 15, 2006

Field Tripping

[The subsidized apartment building I live in is called The Union Hotel. It's run by DESC, Seattle's Downtown Emergency Service Center. All the residents have been homeless. I write a column for the monthly building newsletter. The column is called Out of My Mind. I'm posting them here, properly dated, because I can. -- wes]

Today I want to use this space to put in a plug for more Union Hotel field trips.

So far I’ve been on field trips to the Russian submarine, the Seattle Aquarium, the Volunteer Park conservatory (twice), the Seattle Art Museum, the Arboretum, and a couple of parks. My favorite place that I haven’t been to was the Volunteer Park cemetery, which Sara Marckx didn’t take us to, because she ran out of time. That was really awesome (I didn’t get to see Bruce Lee’s burial plot!)

I’ve also been to some places where I could spend small amounts of money. The best one of those was the Deseret Thrift store out on Aurora. I got a rice cooker for $5 there. I would like to go back as I’m sure I could find something else I might have a sudden need for once I saw it.

When I try to think of things that I might need if I only knew they existed, I think mainly of toys. Here is a short list of things I can think of needing: Wind-up Hopping Lederhosen, A Bacon Air Freshener, Evil Clown Nesting Dolls, Nihilist Chewing Gum (“Slogan: We Don’t Believe in Flavor”), Devil Duckies, Wall Hanging Tiki Mask, Pope Innocent III Action Figure, Carl Jung Action Figure & Sigmund Freud Action Figure (I could make them dispute each other), Marie Antoinette Action Figure, Deluxe Nerd Glasses, and of course the Classic Rubber Chicken. I’m not making any of these up; they’re all in the catalog of the world famous Archie McPhee & Co. store in Ballard. Even if I could only afford one or two items I would like to go see them all.

I was going to mention some other great places to go, like the Lusty Lady (for the art, THE ART), or the Blue Moon Tavern (for THE POETRY READING, THE HISTORIC AMBIENCE), but I’m running out of space so I want instead to suggest a field trip to some place that wouldn’t cost money. At 28901 NE Carnation Farm Road in Carnation there’s a statue of Segis Pieterje Prospect, World’s Champion Milk Cow and “Foster Mother of the Human Race.” I can’t believe I’ve lived in the Seattle area for most of my life and I’ve never seen the Segis Pieterje Prospect statue. Charlene?