WWW Gets New Meaning

New Arc: The Weekly Wes Whine

I don't need no money, fortune, or fame.
I've got all the fake friends one man can claim.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
MySpace (MySpace, MySpace)
Talkin' 'bout MySpace (MySpace).

Now that I'm not able to do the Technorati Sucks posts I was doing, I feel a great void in my life that can only be filled by whining about other things. Originally the plan was to do a "MySpace Sucks" arc, but I have decided that I need more. I can no longer limit my whining to one internet service or another, but must be free to roam the web and complain about it all.

I'm calling it the Weekly Wes Whine in imitation of Technorati's annoying Where's The Fire BS: stealing a popular abbreviation for my own use. Like WTF will never mean anything but what THEY say it means, from now on. Right. And, similarly, if I do enough of these posts, you'll one day google www and get this blog. Ha! Sure you will.

All that aside, I'm hot to bitch about MySpace this week. I have so many complaints about MySpace I think I could use the WWW to complain solely about them until the Mayan Calendar gives out in 2012.

I have already alluded to the fake friends. The last couple of weeks I have been actively updating my MySpace account, for the hell of it. To see what would happen. Like poking a stick in a pile of worms. What will the worms do?

Here's what: From getting an average of one New Friend Request every week, I've got up to an average of 5 or 6 per day!

The fun part!: if I do absolutely nothing about the New Friend Requests I get on any given day, by the next day 4 of every 5 requests will show this sort of message:


Then, when I've deleted all those, what I have remaining is a bunch of would-be New Friends who send me pictures like these:


Now, it says right on my MySpace profile I'm a 58 year old man. I'm old enough to be the father of any one of the pictured young ladies. Do you see how some of them are dressed? Especially the one on the left wearing the yellow ball. Outdoors in the snow, getting all flushed in the cold! That is totally inappropriate, young lady.

I swear the one in the blue can't be more than twelve, and the one holding up two fingers is showing way too much of the wrong sort of skin. That's not midriff, that's below-the-midriff. Don't think I'm too old to remember the difference!

The only one that might conceivably be an appropriate online internet buddy for a 58 year old old-fart like me, is Miss No Photo Provided, who for all I know is the online persona of the Seattle Mens Choir. At least we might have something in common.

Here's a little extra something for you readers so you won't feel too teased: