Feel the Clove

Here's a huge pet peeve of mine. Why does every single trained cook on the planet overcook garlic? What's up with that? You've got geniuses with friggin' DEGREES in cooking. They haven't heard of Al Dente? They think he's just about pasta?

Let me tell you how to cook garlic. There's nobody else here who's going to tell you, obviously.

Step one. Get over your 20th century idea that microwave ovens aren't real ovens. I could go on and on about the molecular resonance frequency of H-2-O and how heat is heat AND IT ISN'T NUCLEAR RADIATION and so forth and none of it would ever sink in BUT THE BOTTOM LINE is GET OVER THE IGNORANCE.

There's no better way to cook garlic than this: put an entire head, or bulb, if you prefer to call it that, and stick it in your modern microwavicular oven set on high and "zap" it AS IS unskinned in any way for between 20 and 30 seconds, depending on the size of the head. Little head, 20 seconds, big head, 30 seconds. Unless it's Elephant Garlic, in which case figure it out yourself, I don't eat elephant.

Step two. There's no step two. Separate the cloves, peel them, and eat them. You're done. You'll notice they aren't mushy, the way they are in every restaurant. You'll notice they still have some snap when you bite into them. There's your Al Dente. And the burn isn't completely gone, it's just manageable.

While I'm on the subject a recent study has announced that garlic doesn't really lower cholesterol. The so-called scientists who authored this study based it on an experiment in which they fed a whole bunch of people the equivalent of six cloves of garlic a week. (One a day with a day off "for rest.")

Oh PLEASE. Any serious garlic eater can tell you one clove a day is nothing. It takes a head (or bulb, if you prefer) to really clean your pipes, if you know what I mean, and if you've had a head a day, you know what I mean. These scientists clearly know nothing of the kind, if they think a lousy clove a day is going to make a dent in your grease deposits.

One final observation. If you have difficulty eating garlic, because of its bite, I'll bet it never occurred to you to mince it up and mix it with your raspberry Jello. That would help.

Ka Mate Kat

A fantasy I often have involving the Maori haka made famous by the New Zealand All Blacks rugby team and our office cat Sidney Cross-eyed Vicious.

Mexican Lunch -- Tahitian Music

I get a chance to video myself and 9 of the other usual suspects of Real Change, at a lunch party held at Mama's Mexican down the street. The party is in honor of the man in the blue knit hat, vendor Robert Hansen. We won't be paying him to be a Vendor Rep anymore, so to make nice we're buying him lunch while subjecting him to our company. The others, as the camera sweeps right are reporter Cydney G, vendor and editorial committee member August M, editorial manager Adam H, crack intern Danina G, Director of Ops Craig K, Office Manager and Volunteer Coordinator Brooke K, Glorious Leader Timothy H, and fellow ed committee sweetie Anitra F.

Had it not been for Robert and Cydney making faces at the camera, I was planning to call this "Still Life With Mexican Food Eaters." Then, when they all left while I insisted on finishing without asking for a doggy bag, I thought I would call it "People Who Leave Me At A Restaurant So I Can Clean Off Their Plates And Drink What's Left Of Anitra's Beer In Refreshing Solitude." But that was too long.

I added the Tahitian Dance of the Children cause it seemed to fit the mood. Or I should say, it fit my mood. As usual I'm the one doing all the giggling.

Becky Rocks

It's the Becky from DESC we saw on Valentine's Day (posted Feb 16), being one of the Cherry Blossoms at Night for the Morrison's talent show. The Morrison's community room has just slightly better acoustics than the U of W underground parking garage, sorry. But everyone enjoyed the show.

Mother Escapes

Here's Anitra at the Morrison, another building run by the DESC. They were holding an art show and talent show, open to residents of all DESC buildings. Anitra is performing one of her most popular poems.

Stupid Toys

When I first uploaded this to YouTube they said they had no related videos. That means a lot to me.

Anitra: Dances With Redness

Subtitle this one Adventures in Flash.

A couple more scenes from the Union Hotel's Valentine's Day Dance Party. Becky from the Downtown Emergency Service Center was there taking promotional pictures. Since she got my picture, I figured I could retaliate. Then Anitra dances for the camera while a rectangular redness hovers around her, covering up a guy who strayed into the shot by accident.

Union Hotel Dance Party

Here are The Hound Dog (our DJ) and other residents Jeanne and Anitra dancing at my building's Valentine's Day party. I don't do this kind of dancing. When I dance there must be much more space between myself and the rest of the party, for the safety of All, and for the safety of All's toes.